Going SoloPainos 1

Originally published in 1985, this, at the time, controversial book explores the fundamental changes in personal relationships that had taken place over the previous decade, focusing on women who had deliberately chosen to have children outside a permanent relationship. After travelling widely throughout Britain, the United States and Holland meeting those personally involved, Jean Renvoize discusses why a growing number of women were deciding to become single mothers. She discovers the implications of this for the future of the family and for old-style love and commitment between the sexes. She analyses the position both of the children of these single families and of their mothers. She looks at men’s feelings about being used a ‘stud’ and uncovers the desire of some men to have a family without being financially and emotionally involved with a long-term partner.

Importantly, Jean Renvoize places the new style of personal relationship in the context of the advance of the women’s movement. It is clear that ordinary and non-political women’s and men’s lives have been more fundamentally changed by feminism than they may realise. But few of the mothers interviewed by the author are actively feminist: lesbians apart, they all have in common past relationships with men, and would happily settle with the right man could their high expectations be met. Without exception, all those who made the deliberate choice to ‘go solo’ have loving, joyful and rewarding experiences of motherhood. Having a child alone has been fraught with problems for all, but those who have met the challenge have found such great fulfilment that one is faced with an inevitable question: are a woman and her child better off without a man? When so many marriages end in divorce, is a stable unit of two better than a broken unit of three?

But also, might those without the motivation of successful ‘solo mothers’ rush thoughtlessly into motherhood – and find themselves exhausted, broke and very unhappy?

Presenting in their own words the experiences of those directly involved, this was above all a practical book. It provided welcome and necessary insights into the changing pattern of relationships at the time – for the married and unmarried; for parents and non-parents. Today it can be read and enjoyed in its historical context.