Before Memmo my notes were scattered across PDFs. Now a workspace pulls everything into one place — I see exactly what's still left to study.
Terri Apter reveals how everyday judgments impact our relationships and how praise, blame, and shame shape our sense of self.
Do you know that praise is essential to the growth of a healthy brain? That experiences of praise and blame affect how long we live? That the conscious and unconscious judgments we engage in every day began as a crucial survival technique? Do you think people shouldn’t be judgmental? But, how judgmental are you, and how does this impact your relationships? “Keenly perceptive” (The Atlantic) psychologist and writer Terri Apter reveals how everyday judgments impact our relationships, and how praise, blame, and shame shape our sense of self.
Our obsession with praise and blame begins soon after birth. Totally dependent on others, rapidly we learn to value praise, and to fear the consequences of blame. Despite outgrowing an infant’s dependence, we continue to monitor others’ judgments of us, and we ourselves develop what relational psychologist Terri Apter calls a “judgment meter,” which constantly scans people and our interactions with them, and registers a positive or negative opinion.
In Passing Judgment, Apter reveals how interactions between parents and children, within couples, and among friends and colleagues are permeated with praise and blame that range far beyond specific compliments and accusations. Drawing on three decades of research, Apter gives us the tools to learn about our personal needs, goals and values, to manage our biases, to tolerate others’ views, and to make sense of our most powerful, and often confusing, responses to ourselves and to others.
Before Memmo my notes were scattered across PDFs. Now a workspace pulls everything into one place — I see exactly what's still left to study.
Memmo's summaries are gold before exams. I don't have to re-read 800 pages two weeks before — just the important parts.
The AI chat has saved me the night before an exam more than once. I just keep asking until I get it — no waiting on a study group to reply.
The quizzes hit exactly what I need to know. Memmo tracks what I get stuck on — so I only practice what's worth it.
Flashcards with spaced repetition are magic. Memmo knows when I'm about to forget something and brings it back.
The AI podcasts are my favorite. I listen on my way to school and get a recap without sitting at a computer.
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